Post by Renrag on Oct 24, 2014 14:57:07 GMT
Jim and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital.One Christmas Eve day
while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately
ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her
to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said,"
Edna,Ihave good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since
you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love,
I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim hung himself in the bathroom
with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, Edna, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "Oh, he didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
"How soon can I go home."
==========================================================================================================
Some months after Jim's demise,Edna was moved to another Nursing Home with some more old people,living out their final childhood.
The home had a mobility scooter to enable some of them to drive around the wide pathways in the large garden.It was usually parked just inside the main door.and had a link to the automatic door opening mechanism.to simplify exit and re-entry.Edna loved it.
She would get on the scooter,open the door and drive down the shallow ramp,onto the pathways.She pretended to be Fangio,and frequently berated the scooter for not going fast enough for her liking. After a few laps ,she would open the door and go back inside,and if none of the staff were in sight, would drive along the main corridor as fast as she could and then take the left hand turn at the end.This shorter corridor had wider area at it's end where she could turn round and drive back to the parking space near the main door.This jaunt became a ritual for Edna,and the other Immates would egg her on and jolly her along.
One day,after her tour of the garden,she re-entered the house determined to try to take the corner at the end of the main corridor on two wheels.She had just set off ,when Simple Jim stepped out of his room in front of her.
"Can I see your driving licence."
Edna pulled an old Kitkat wrapper from her pocket,and showed it to Jim.
"Thank you.Drive on."
Further along the corridor Old Simon stopped her.
"Have you got insurance for that vehicle."
Edna found a tea stained coaster in another pocket and handed it to Simon.
"This seems in order.Mind how you drive."
Down to the end of the corrider and round the left turn and then she sees Crazy Carl stood just outside his room,stark naked,holding his willie.
Edna yells out "Oh No, not that damn breathalyzer test again."
while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Jim suddenly jumped
into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.
Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled Jim out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately
ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her
to be mentally stable. When she went to tell Edna the news she said,"
Edna,Ihave good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since
you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love,
I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness. The bad news is, Jim hung himself in the bathroom
with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, Edna, but he's dead."
Edna replied, "Oh, he didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry."
"How soon can I go home."
==========================================================================================================
Some months after Jim's demise,Edna was moved to another Nursing Home with some more old people,living out their final childhood.
The home had a mobility scooter to enable some of them to drive around the wide pathways in the large garden.It was usually parked just inside the main door.and had a link to the automatic door opening mechanism.to simplify exit and re-entry.Edna loved it.
She would get on the scooter,open the door and drive down the shallow ramp,onto the pathways.She pretended to be Fangio,and frequently berated the scooter for not going fast enough for her liking. After a few laps ,she would open the door and go back inside,and if none of the staff were in sight, would drive along the main corridor as fast as she could and then take the left hand turn at the end.This shorter corridor had wider area at it's end where she could turn round and drive back to the parking space near the main door.This jaunt became a ritual for Edna,and the other Immates would egg her on and jolly her along.
One day,after her tour of the garden,she re-entered the house determined to try to take the corner at the end of the main corridor on two wheels.She had just set off ,when Simple Jim stepped out of his room in front of her.
"Can I see your driving licence."
Edna pulled an old Kitkat wrapper from her pocket,and showed it to Jim.
"Thank you.Drive on."
Further along the corridor Old Simon stopped her.
"Have you got insurance for that vehicle."
Edna found a tea stained coaster in another pocket and handed it to Simon.
"This seems in order.Mind how you drive."
Down to the end of the corrider and round the left turn and then she sees Crazy Carl stood just outside his room,stark naked,holding his willie.
Edna yells out "Oh No, not that damn breathalyzer test again."
